Welcome to Pure Amazing Race

The highly anticipated return of the Amazing Race is just a month away and CBS has released the bios of its Amazing Race cast. Let’s take a look at the competitors and see how close CBS stayed to their past formulas of choosing teams.

First we have Terence and Sarah, a dating couple whose biggest concerns are becoming too intense, fighting amongst themselves, and their dietary restrictions. Sounds like a formula for good TV if I ever heard one. You know the producers are thinking, “Yes! Get intense! Fight! Harder!” I’m interested to learn more about the dietary restrictions since I have a ton of those myself and have cited that as my main reason for never going on a reality show.

Next up are Marisa and Brooke AKA Team Hot Pink Velour Tracksuits. Haven’t we already seen this team on seasons 12 (Shana and Jennifer), 10, 11 (Dustin & Kandice), 9 (Danielle & Dani), and 7 (Megan and Heidi)? For some reason this typecast annoys me the most out of all of them.

Frat brothers Andrew and Dan look interesting. I expect them to bring the funny. Don’t disappoint, boys.

Aja and Ty are our token black couple on the race. For as diversely traveled of a show the Amazing Race is, they sure don’t carry that over to their casts, do they? I’m concerned about this team. They are in a long-distance relationship and Ty feels that Aja’s biggest weakness is that she gets upset easily. I foresee lots of distraught tears and miscommunication with these two as they struggle to stay on the same page.

Next up are Mark and Bill, the geeks for this season. These two are comic fan boys who met at a science fiction club almost a quarter century ago. How sweet. I predict their intellect will get them through certain challenges, but their lack of physical fitness will slow them down in others.

Mother and son team Toni and Dallas are all but guaranteed to be entertaining according to their CBS bio. Their breakdowns will (predictably) be when Toni tries to boss Dallas around.

Nick and Starr are a brother/sister team who I believe will get on my nerves by episode 2. Starr (how did she draw the short stick in the family name lottery?) is a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader and Nick performed in Off-Broadway, so lots of drama shall be sure to ensue. Their bios mention the siblings are best friends now but were bitter enemies in high school - let’s see which one holds more true as they travel around the world.

We’ve got hippies again! And an aging team! All in one tie-dyed package. Groovy. Anita and Arthur are a married couple in their 60s from Oregon. They run a farm and are all about the peace and love. I have high hopes for them.

Team Hot Pink Velour Tracksuits have company this season. Watch out, girls, Kelly and Christy are going to give you a run for your money. Both of these teams are from the south, but the latter are from Texas. And everybody knows you don’t mess with Texas.

Once again, we’ve got an estranged couple in the cast. Ken and Tina have been separated for 9 months, but are hoping to reconnect on the race. I hope that works better for them than it did for Frank and Margarita (Season 1), and Tara and Wil (Season 2). They separated because of Ken’s infidelity. I’m not sure going on the Amazing Race with two teams of Double Mint Twins is the best idea in the world, but that’s just me.

Finally, we have Anthony and Stephanie, another couple whose fate seems dubious. Anthony promises to propose to Stephanie if they win the race. So if they lose, will he dump her?

Since people can be so much different than they are “on paper”, it’s hard to choose favorites just yet. However, I’ll take that risk based on past Amazing Race experience. My picks - sight unseen - are Andrew & Dan and Anita and Arthur. I can’t wait to tune in on September 28th to see if my predictions hold!

Dear Amazing Race and CBS,
I can’t wait!!

Ok, I can, but this wait is just killing me. CBS and Amazing Race should never do this to us again. I love this show far too much to have to wait for it to come on TV. Did you hear me Amazing Race? Don’t keep your adoring fans waiting.

Yes, I understand that you’ve been on for 12 seasons and that this is the Amazing Race 13. That doesn’t mean you should deprive us any longer of our travels around the world.

I’m not sure you realize this, but let me let you in on a little secret my dear Amazing Race. Are you listening? Good. The secret is that for most of us watching the Amazing Race that’s as close as we’re going to come to racing around the world. Sure, we might travel to Italy once in our life or we might just happen to make it to Japan at some point, but most of us won’t be able to race around the world.

Plus, even if we did get to go to those places, we don’t get to do nearly as cool things as you get to do. Seriously, do you think that if I went to New Zealand that I’d be able to roll down a beautiful green hill in a mouse ball (or whatever that orb thing was called). What about sledging in New Zealand? Nope, my guess is I wouldn’t be doing that either as much as I’d like to in the very depths of my heart. By the way, New Zealand’s orb and sledging (I hope that’s the name) are still probably my 2 favorite activities on any adventure of the Amazing Race.

I know I’ve waited this long for Amazing Race 13 and it’s only one month and 10 days until the season premier of Amazing Race, but I’m tired of waiting. Since I know you can’t change that date. I’ll settle for this. Never make your adoring Amazing Race fans wait this long ever again.

Thanks Amazing Race. We love you!